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人人说英语(高级口语) 2_un5-8

Source: 恒星英语学习网  Onion  2009-10-24  我要投稿   论坛   Favorite  
[00:00.00]Unit 5 Home and Family
[00:13.87]Waiting(E)
[00:16.43]Mr.and Mrs.Clark decided to separate
[00:21.16]Before being allowed to do so legally
[00:25.21]the Family Court insisted they undergo some counseling
[00:29.96]from the marriage counselor
[00:33.12]to see if their union could be saved
[00:37.28]The counselor did her hest,but it didn't work.
[00:41.72]Mr.and Mrs.Clark made up their minds to go through with the separation
[00:47.28]leading to divorce
[00:50.52]Finally,the counselor said,"But you're 95 and your wife is 93.
[00:57.78]You've been married for 72 years!Why do you want to separate now?"
[01:03.74]Mr.Clark replied:
[01:06.80]"We haven't been able to stand each other for the last 46 years.
[01:11.94]But we thought we should wait until all the children died before we split up."
[01:17.22]Thanksgiving(M)
[01:19.86]Mr.Hunter calls his son in Boston.
[01:24.22]The old man says,"Son,I hate to bring you the bad news...
[01:31.45]but your mother and I,we are getting a divorce
[01:36.29]The son is surprised,"What?You can't!"
[01:41.93]Mr.Hunter says,"I'm sorry,son!Forty-five years of misery is enough!
[01:50.18]Now,I am sick of talking about it,
[01:54.13]call your sister and tell her!"And he hangs up.
[01:59.48]The son,nearly in tears,calls his sister in New York,"Sis,"he says,
[02:07.24]"you're not going to believe this!Mom and dad are getting a...a...divorce!"
[02:14.50]"What?!"she shouts on the phone
[02:18.66]"Oh,no.They aren't!You stay put.I'll call you right back!"And she hangs up.
[02:28.09]The sister calls the parents in Los Angels,"You two are not getting a divorce"
[02:35.66]Mr.Hunter says,"Honey,listen..."
[02:40.03]The daughter says,"No,you listen!You are not getting a divorce!
[02:46.19]You know what?You don't do anything!I'm calling brother back.
[02:51.86]We'll be there tomorrow!Don't do anything."And she hangs up.
[02:57.50]Mr.Hunter hangs uup calmly,looks at Mrs.Hunter,and says,
[03:02.96]"Well, they are coming for Thanksgiving and are paying their own fares.
[03:08.71]What shall we tell them on Christmas?"
[03:12.24]Angry Wife(D)
[03:15.29]Jim and Frank are having fun in a party one night
[03:20.96]when jim looks at Frank and says,
[03:25.51]"I have to get home,or my wife is going to kill me."
[03:31.07]Frank says,"What?Are you kidding me?My wife lets me do whatever I want."
[03:39.90]Jim says,"I know,I know,"embarrassed that his wife controls him
[03:48.26]He continues,"I try to sneak past her every time
[03:54.50]I drive really slowly down the street
[03:59.78]and turn the headlights off 100 yards short my driveway
[04:06.33]Fifty feet shortI turn off the engine so that I can coast in.
[04:14.20]I shut the car door gently,open the front door to the house quietly
[04:21.56]take off my boots so I can go up the stairs in my socks
[04:28.33]and sneak through the bedroom door and he sat up all night watching me."
[04:32.59]But as soon as I hit the bed ,she is up screaming at me."
[04:38.47]Frank laughs and replies,"There is your problem.
[04:45.02]Let me tell you what I do.Every time I go home late at night,
[04:51.87]I drive fast down my street,
[04:56.44]bump into the garage door and slam the car door shut.
[05:02.89]Then I kick open the front door,stomp up the stairs,
[05:08.95]swing the bedroom door open,and jump up on the bed.
[05:14.59]Then I shout to my wife,'Hey,honey,where's my dinner?'
[05:20.34]She's sleeping every time I say it."
[05:25.02]Unit 6  Jobs and Occupations
[05:40.17]A Job Interview(E)
[05:43.64]Reaching the end fo a job interview
[05:48.50]the interviewer asked a young accountant fresh out of college
[05:54.66]"And what starting salary were you looking for?"
[06:00.02]The accountant said,"About $100,000 a year,depending on the benefits package."
[06:09.58]The interviewer said,"Well,what would you say to a package of 5 weeks'vacation
[06:17.44]14 paid holidays,full health insurance a retirment fund for 50% of your salary
[06:27.29]and a company car leased every 2 years?"
[06:32.33]The accountant sat up straight and said,"Wow!Are you kidding?" 
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